February 2012
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“If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience...”
– Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
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I Love a Good List
1. I wish I was watching the Oscars instead of writing an essay on Cost Benefit Analysis of pre-market regulation of chemical contaminants.
2. I ate a lot at dinner and might barf.
3. I am already dreading tomorrow’s practice.
4. I think I should maybe run away and become an actress just in the hopes that I become famous and get to wear a glorious gown to some awards show.
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“If my life was a book-
I would have to write it out of order.
My Genesis after...”
– LRP (me)
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One of those
Today is one of those days where I won’t do the simple things I need to do in order to 1) go to bed, 2) fight off my oncoming cold, 3) have enough thesis written so I don’t end my own life come April, 4) stop being a giant bitch.
Even though I’m technically Jewish or whateverrrr I think I want to give up something for lent.
Boof.
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“Pretty girls are really depressed. Like all the time. It’s a strange phenomenon...”
– Ten Things I’ve Learned From Watching Pretentious Indie Films, Ryan O’Connell
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Every day
Is so fucking back and forth. When will I not hate myself? When will I lose weight? When will I stop gaining? How can I be both healthy and happy? Or why can I sometimes feel full of self-love, of strength, of muscle and skin and fat and flesh and love every bit of it… and the next minute I want nothing more than the chance to tear myself to pieces?
When does it stop?
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“My dear, these things are life.”
– George Meredith
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Sorry not sorry but actually sort of sorry
Water polo started yesterday at the glorious hour of six a.m. and since then I have had two more practices. My body feels like it is going to give out on me. Not to mention the fact that I’ve been eating like a pig. But I also cut like ten seconds from last year’s times (THIS IS MAJOR) and so I guess being a lardo is worth it?!
HEH. Ok I’ll go to bed now. Shut up brain. Night...
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“Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that...”
– Friday Night Lights
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Who the hell knows
I’m replacing one bad habit with another… whoops. I am tired. I can’t bring myself to do any sort of academic work. My anxiety is through the roof, and I am oscillating between manic highs and crushing lows. Can someone offer me a job please? Why am I whining?
And can I stop having such bad gas? Seriously.
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“Y que siempre les recomendaba que si se moría y vestían ellas, no le pusiesen...”
– La plaza del Diamante, Mercè Rodoreda
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Fumes
I just decided I would paint my nails and the smell of the nail polish is making me feel crummy. Painting them was actually useless because I have a double practice session and chlorine is nail polish’s sworn enemy, so I will enjoy these nails for all of three hours.
Can someone make me not go to work tomorrow?
This has been a useless post.
Hehe, look at my claws.
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“I don’t want to express alienation. It isn’t what I feel. I’m interested in...”
– Susan Sontag